Dr. Jeanne Safer has dedicated much of her decades’ long career in psychotherapy to exploring the taboo subjects that we all think about in private but seldom discuss in public. From conflicted sibling relationships to the choice not to have children, Safer’s work has always been unflinching in its aim to delve deep into the topics that make most of us blush but that are present in all our lives. In The Golden Condom, Safer turns her sharp, fearless eye to a subject perhaps more universal than any other–love in all its permutations.
In The Golden Condom, Safer interweaves her own experiences with those of a variety of memorable people, including her patients, telling a series of tales that investigates the types of relationships, both healthy and toxic, that most of us don’t escape life without experiencing at least once, including traumatic friendships, love after loss, unrequited or obsessional love, and more.
What People are Saying
“Jeanne Safer is like a best friend, a gifted therapist and an enchanting storyteller rolled into one. In a culture that romanticizes the idea of unconditional love, Safer reminds us that relationships are inherently contractual. Better yet, she shows is that it is within those contracts that genuine compassion and affection can truly–even ecstatically—flourish. This book is both a warm fuzzy and a sharp kick in the pants. Don’t let it far from your side.”
— Meghan Daum, author of The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects Of Discussion
“We live in a time of paradox: As sexual and emotional arrangements become ever more complicated, our culture insists on recycling antiquated myths about what love should be rather than what it is. Deeply informed and intensely intimate, The Golden Condom is a unique and necessary contribution to the popular literature on modern relationships. Drawing on a lifetime of experience, Jeanne Safer puts forth a wise, expansive vision of romance in all its variations, reminding us that love is earned more commonly than it’s found, and lasts even when it’s gone.”
— Kate Bolick, author of Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own
“The Golden Condom is one of those brilliant, generous, and captivating psychology books, that will almost certainly free readers from the limits they have unknowingly set for themselves.”
— Simon Van Booy, Author of Father’s Day and The Secret Lives of People in Love
Finalist, Books for a Better Life Award
“I recognized myself on almost every page….I wish I had read [The Normal One] earlier in my life.”
—Barbara Walters from her memoir Audition
Cain’s Legacy is an engaging albeit sometimes disturbing exploration of the complex lives of human siblings…. For those suffering troubled relationships with brothers and sisters, Cain’s Legacy may open a door to understanding why and just perhaps the path to reconciliation.
—Winnipeg Free Press
Finalist, Books for a Better Life Award
“Beyond Motherhood is written with an impressive clarity and spareness. It’s honest, smart, brave, funny, and makes you think about things you don’t think about.”
“Jeanne Safer offers a brave and compassionate voice on a taboo subject with insight and clarity. Memorably engrossing, this book offers support and guidance to an often bewildering human emotional process.”
—Susan Forward, PhD
“It’s not all bad news.” Writes psychotherapist Jeanne Safer, PhD in her taboo-breaking first sentence, “The death of your parents can be the best thing that ever happens to you.” That’s not a no-more-tears prescription: it’s a strategy for getting a payback from your pain. Safer tells how a midlife orphan can sort through memories, salvaging what heals, packing away guilt and resentment, perhaps even unearthing a legacy of love.
—O: The Oprah magazine
Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed makes a thoughtful and passionate case for why parenthood is not the only path in life, taking our parent-centric, kid-fixated, baby-bump-patrolling culture to task in the process. What emerges is a more nuanced, diverse view of what it means to live a full, satisfying life.
—Hannah Pittard, author of Reunion